A must read: Absurdity of the Bible by Femi Akomolafe

Never will know what the Christians, especially
those of them in Africa, ever hope to achieve by
claiming that the collections of absurd lies and
forgeries, they call a Bible, is the word of an
omnipotent and omniscient god.
As Senator Moynihan one famously said: We are
all entitled to our opinions, but certainly not to
our facts.
What we know as indisputable fact is that what
the Christians today call a Bible was put together
at the Council of Nicae conference in AD325. We
also know that the conference was called at the
instigation of one of the most murderous ruler
ever, Emperor Constantine.
The records of the proceeding at Nicae are in the
public domain, and they are accessible except for
those for whom a desire to learn is a great
challenge.
What we also known for a fact is that the King's
James version of the Bible was produced at the
urgings of one of the most homicidal Kings to
grace the throne of that isle of iniquities, Britain,
King James.
When we write about these and other facts
concerning the Christian faith and its so-called
'holy book,' we have totally mindless people
jumping up and down to insult.
Sadly, it is mostly Africans who remain too
dogmatic, too bigoted and too blinded to reason;
most priests in Europe today no longer believe in
the literal correctness of the Bible.
Lacking any cogent argument or fact to refute
what we write, these Jesus-warriors resort to
personal insults and mudslinging.
It never occur to them to question why the son of
their all-powerful god will need the defense of
mere mortals.
If, for argument sake, we agree that a god exist
that created human being and endowed it with
the faculty we call brain, what would be the
purpose if not to use it to think?
Why is it impossible for these over-zealous
Christian to use their brains to think and find out
if something accord with logic and with reason?
Buddha advised us: "Do not believe in anything
simply because you have heard it. Do not believe
in anything simply because it is spoken and
rumored by many. Do not believe in anything
simply because it is found written in your
religious books. Do not believe in anything merely
on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do
not believe in traditions because they have been
handed down for many generations. But after
observation and analysis, when you find that
anything agrees with reason and is conducive to
the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it
and live up to it."
Why do Christians ignore this eminently sensible
advice and keep to a dogmatic belief in a doctrine
that is repugnant to reason and too absurd even
for refutation?
What exactly do the Christians in Africa do with
their brains if they tell us the hogwash contain in
their so-called holy book was inspired by an
intelligent god?
How could any honest and truthful person read
the Christian Bible and proclaim that it is the
absolutely correct words of an intelligent god,
and that it is without errors?
As we have it, the Bible is riddled with infantile
lies, utterly stupid forgeries and sheer
absurdities.
Absurdity: "something ludicrous: something that
is ridiculous because of being irrational,
incongruous, or illogical."
Since the lies and the absurdities of the Bible are
far numerous to chronicle in a single article, let's
attempt to point out the silliest among them.
1. The creation absurdity
The first absurdity started with the creation
story of which Genesis has two different
accounts of the creation of man and woman.
In the first account in Genesis 1:27, we read
Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his
own image, in the image of God he created
them; male and female he created them."
In the second account in Genesis 2:21-23
"And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to
fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one
of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its
place. Then the rib which the LORD God had
taken from man He made into a woman, and
He brought her to the man. And Adam said:
This is now bone of my bones And flesh of
my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because
she was taken out of Man."
And the Christians tell us that we must
believe these two irreconcilable
contradictions in order to enter paradise.
2. The creation absurdities continue:
Genesis 1:14-19 "And God said, Let there be
lights in the firmament of the heaven to
divide the day from the night; and let them be
for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and
years:
And let them be for lights in the firmament of
the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it
was so.
And God made two great lights; the greater
light to rule the day, and the lesser light to
rule the night: he made the stars also.
And God set them in the firmament of the
heaven to give light upon the earth,
And to rule over the day and over the night,
and to divide the light from the darkness: and
God saw that it was good."
The only thing we can say here is that any
grown up that believe these tales should go
for psychiatric assessment.
Are those who argue about the accuracy of
the Bible still believe that the moon (a lump
of satellite that moves around the earth) has
light?
3. The fall from grace absurdity
According to the Biblical yarn, Eve persuaded
Adam to eat from the tree of knowledge, and
this made god very angry and he decided to
punish human beings.
Any thinking person will ask: i. why would god
be against the acquisition of knowledge; ii.
Why an intelligent god would waste its time
to create something that will displease him?
In fact, the whole Biblical creation story is so
palpably absurd that it beggars believe that
any sane and intelligent person can even
begin to believe it.
4. The tower of Babel absurdity
Genesis 11:1 "And the whole earth was of one
language, and of one speech."
The Christian Bible tells us about a god
changing the language of the world because
people displeased him by building a tower!
Whoever believe this nonsense needs her
head examine!
One hardly needs a degree in anthropology
to know that human languages constantly
evolves.
Suffice however to say that this is another
Babylonian legend copied by the Bible
compilers. The Babylonian tale had their
'Bab-ilu' which means "the gate of god."
That is not all, Genesis 11 directly contradicts
Genesis 10:5 where we read: "By these were
the isles of the Gentiles divided in their lands;
every one after his tongue, after their
families, in their nations."
5. Moses miraculous rod absurdity
In Exodus, the compilers borrowed the story
of Bacchus or Orpheus to create their story of
a mythical exodus from Egypt led by Moses.
According to the Bacchus story, he also led
an army to pass through a dry shod on the
Red Sea.
Both stories are mythical: unsupported by
any historical record. Many people believe
that it has its origin in Alexander the Great
crossing a tidal estuary in Asia Minor.'
The Ancient Egyptian left copious literature
and in none did they mentioned the habiru,
today Hebrews.
As to Moses receiving a book of law, the least
we can say is that there is absolutely nothing
new here as Minos, the Cretan law-giver,
ascended Mount Dicta and received from
Zeus the sacred laws. The Persians have a
similar legend of how Zoroaster received
from Ormuzd The Book of the Law-the Zend
Avesta.
And one only needs to read the Egyptian
Book of the Dead to know from where the so-
called Ten Commandemnets were lifted
verbatim.
6. The Joshua stopping the sun absurdity
According to the Christians we must, in order
to be save (from whatever), believe that
Joshua stopped the sun in order to continue
killing the people of Jericho.
If the ancients thought the sun stood still,
why should any thinking man in this age
believe the same nonsense?
This tale could make sense in era when
people believe that the sun revolves around
the earth.
Is there a Christian who still believe same
today?
7. Samson exploits absurdity
To the incredulous Christians who still
believe in the originality of the Bible, sorry to
disappoint but the six exploits of Samson
were all lifted from the story of Hercules who
performed twelve allegorical exploits.
But why should I believe the fanciful tales of
Samson in order to be save? Of what utility to
me were tale of Samson pulling down a
temple or having his dread cut off through
the betrayal of Delilah?
8. The Virgin birth absurdity
Christian take serious the yarn that their
Jesus was born of a virgin. In era when
people rely on legends and superstitions,
miraculous births were fashionable. Caesar,
Cicero, Alexander were people said to have
had miraculous births.
We dealt with this illogicality in the article:
"Stop teaching the Bible to Children."
9. Abram prostituted his wife in Egypt
Genesis 12:10-20 "Now there was a famine in
the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to
live there for a while because the famine was
severe. As he was about to enter Egypt, he
said to his wife Sarai, "I know what a
beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians
see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then
they will kill me but will let you live. 13 Say
you are my sister, so that I will be treated well
for your sake and my life will be spared
because of you.
When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians
saw that Sarai was a very beautiful woman.
And when Pharaoh's officials saw her, they
praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken
into his palace. He treated Abram well for her
sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle,
male and female donkeys, male and female
servants, and camels.
But the LORD inflicted serious diseases on
Pharaoh and his household because of
Abram's wife Sarai. So Pharaoh summoned
Abram. "What have you done to me?" he said.
"Why didn't you tell me she was your wife?
Why did you say, 'She is my sister,' so that I
took her to be my wife? Now then, here is
your wife. Take her and go!" Then Pharaoh
gave orders about Abram to his men, and
they sent him on his way, with his wife and
everything he had."
So, the Christians want us to believe this
nonsensical pornography in order to be
saved? Tchaah!
10. Jesus and the hog absurdity - Mark 5:10-13
"And he besought him much that he would
not send them away out of the country. Now
there was there nigh unto the mountains a
great herd of swine feeding. And all the devils
besought him, saying, Send us into the swine,
that we may enter into them. And forthwith
Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean
spirits went out, and entered into the swine:
and the herd ran violently down a steep place
into the sea, (they were about two thousand;)
and were choked in the sea."
Can anybody believe this nonsense if they
use their senses?
11. The sun leading wise men absurdity
Can any honest and intelligent human being,
even one with only the most basic
understanding of our solar system, believe
the story that a star led three wise men to the
manger when Jesus was born?
This tale could have excited ancient people
with no knowledge that the closest star to
earth is more than a billion miles away, and
that they do not move. The idea should even
be entertained by anyone with the most
rudimentary understanding of the solar
system.
It requires only common sense to know that
should any star stray, mis-aligned itself, it will
throw the whole delicate solar system out of
sync with very disastrous consequences for
those of us here on earth.
And yet, the Christians insist that this
impossible tale happened and that we must
continue to believe it!
12. Joshua stop the Sun absurdity - Joshua
10:12-14
It was on the day when the Lord gave up the
Amorites into the hands of the children of
Israel that Joshua said to the Lord, before the
eyes of Israel, Sun, be at rest over Gibeon;
and you, O moon, in the valley of Aijalon. And
the sun was at rest and the moon kept its
place till the nation had given punishment to
their attackers. (Is it not recorded in the book
of Jashar?) So the sun kept its place in the
middle of the heavens, and was waiting, and
did not go down, for the space of a day. And
there was no day like that, before it or after it,
when the Lord gave ear to the voice of a man;
for the Lord was fighting for Israel.
It is incredible that anyone can have the
benefit a high school science education and
still believe this fanciful but impossible tale.
13. The Noah's Ark absurdity.
According to this tale, God destroyed the
world because he was angry. Only Noah got
seven days of warning. During which time, he
built an ark and miraculously collected
species from all the animals inhabiting the
earth.
We were not told how Noah managed this
impossible feat, but we know that the Biblical
tale is simply not true, as it is a mere
plagiarized version of the older Babylonian
tale found in the "Epic of Gilgamesh," which
readers can access here: http://
www.aina.org/books/eog/eog.pdf
14. The rainbow as a sign absurdity - Genesis
9:12-13
And God said, "This is the sign of the
covenant that I make between me and you
and every living creature that is with you, for
all future generations: I have set my bow in
the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the
covenant between me and the earth.
Elementary science teaches that rainbow is
"an arc of light separated into bands of color
that appears when the Sun's rays are
refracted and reflected by drops of mist or
rain."
More absurdities we must believe in order to be
saved (from whatever)!
We need to ask those Christians that go around
disturbing our peace why it is necessary to believe
the following absurdities in order to receive their
god's salvation:
"Their wealth will be plundered, their houses
demolished. Though they build houses, they will
not live in them; though they plant vineyards,
they will not drink the wine." - Zephaniah 1:13
"So he said, You have asked a hard thing.
Nevertheless, if you see me when I am taken
from you, it shall be so for you; but if not, it
shall not be so." Then it happened, as they
continued on and talked, that suddenly a chariot
of fire appeared with horses of fire, and
separated the two of them; and Elijah went up
by a whirlwind into heaven." - 2 Kings 2: 10-11
"And it came to pass that night, that the angel of
the LORD went out, and smote in the camp of
the Assyrians an hundred fourscore and five
thousand: and when they arose early in the
morning, behold, they were all dead corpses." -
2 Kings 19:35
Exodus 32:27"And he said unto them, Thus saith
the LORD God of Israel, Put every man his sword
by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate
throughout the camp, and slay every man his
brother, and every man his companion, and
every man his neighbour."
"But all the women children, that have not
known a man by lying with him, keep alive for
yourselves." - Numbers 31:18
"And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their
sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they
shall eat every one the flesh of his friend in the
siege and straitness, wherewith their enemies,
and they that seek their lives, shall straiten
them." - Jeremiah 19:9
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." - Exodus
22:18
"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son,
which will not obey the voice of his father, or the
voice of his mother, and that, when they have
chastened him, will not hearken unto them.
Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on
him, and bring him out unto the elders of his
city, and unto the gate of his place; And they
shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son
is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our
voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all
the men of his city shall stone him with stones,
that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from
among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear." -
Deuteronomy 21:18-21
"You must destroy all the peoples the LORD your
God gives over to you. Do not look on them with
pity and do not serve their gods, for that will be
a snare to you." - Deuteronomy 7:16
"So the LORD sent a plague on Israel, and
seventy thousand men of Israel fell dead. And
God sent an angel to destroy Jerusalem. But as
the angel was doing so, the LORD saw it and
relented concerning the disaster and said to the
angel who was destroying the people, "Enough!
Withdraw your hand." The angel of the LORD
was then standing at the threshing floor of
Araunah the Jebusite." - 1 Chronicles 14-15 .
When God is preparing to go on another
murdering spree, he tells the people of Israel to
smear blood on their doors so that he'll know
which homes are occupied by his chosen people
- Exodus 12:13.
There are lots more.........