Charly Boy Is Depressed: “I Can’t Sleep At Night, I’m So Broke & Its A Shame”

Controversial Charly Boy is battling
financial hardship and not just that he
claims it is about being in a state of
helplessness.
In an article titled 'Escape from the
Wilderness'.
Read what Charlie Boy wrote:
Does anyone know how I really feel right now?
So alone and empty, God! how I feel the pain.
If you're in the wilderness like me, then you
know it can be insane. Here, my eyes are
bleeding tears and my smiles are protecting
my fears. I can't even go around and fake
happy, because I'm in stagnation and it is
hitting me from all directions.
There is this disturbing feeling that time is
passing me by, yet I'm paralyzed, I can't move
and I can't think too far. At nights I can't sleep
too easy, my heart is sore and my mind
perpetually clustered with things that leave me
shaking. Oh!!! God why? I have prayed I have
fasted but nothing has changed, it's almost a
year now.
My dreams are nothing but nightmares of all
the negatives in this wilderness. What's
happening to me? Look at me, I have always
enjoyed comforting and giving directions to
people in pain, right now I can't even save
myself and I have refused to take my own
pills.Na so life be? On top of all of this, I'm so
f…..king broke it's a shame. No! It's not just
that I'm low in cash, but most importantly,
it is about being in this state of
helplessness, I'm not too proud to ask
anyone for favour, but who will believe I
need financial help when they have put me
on such a high pedestal.
Wow, is this a case of Grace to Grass? Who
would guess I'm dying slowly when all they
can see is my biceps and triceps. I have always
been the joy giver, I have put smiles on
millions of faces and have inspired and
motivated an army of youths, yet I can't seem
to talk myself out of this rot, out of this
wilderness,hummmmm!! Why won't this
feeling of hopelessness leave me alone, I
know I can do more than I'm doing for now, I
know I deserve more.
Too many times I have asked God, why me,
why do I have to go through this wilderness. I
am hardworking, forward looking, positive
thinking, so why do I have to suffer like this. Is
it the system or is it me, what the heck is this
dark cloud that has come over me.
I no longer look forward to tomorrow or
getting out of my bed, because a new day
comes without hope. Nothing seems to make
sense anymore; nothing around me inspires
me again. I feel like I'm vegetating, I feel as if I
I'm glued to this limbo, with no hope of an
escape. Now I'm hugging myself, not sharing
myself with my loved ones because I am
suddenly taking out my frustrations on the
people around me. Oh! Lord I must take
control of my life; again, I must escape from
this wilderness. Does this sound a bit or a lot
like your story right now? Are you in that dark
place in your life, where everything more or
less seems to be grinding to a halt and you
don't know what to do? Well, it happens to the
best of us.
I have learnt that in all things, one should
give thanks. Most of the time we are not
entirely grateful for what we possess,
because we always believe that we need
more than we have right now. If this is the
case, we will continue to need more. This cycle
will perpetuate as long as our mind believes
it's true. If we focus on what we have and not
what we lack, we will always have enough,
because it will always be enough.
Yes, it is hard to stay cool when things are not
sitting right, the way we would like in our lives.
We are the ones who lose in the end, if we
lose the lesson. Shey you dey feel my yarn? In
this wilderness I have learnt that a rich man is
not someone who has the most, but someone
who needs the least.
Yesooooooo!!!!! I'm sharing all this with you
so I can feel lighter. We will always have
problems, often tested by circumstances
outside our control, but we certainly can
control our reaction to those situations. We
have the power because our inner world
(cause) affects the influence we allow the
outer world (effect) to have on us. Being in the
wilderness is always a result of anxiety about
the uncertain future. So, let's stop and ask
ourselves.
"What's the specific uncertainty that is causing
you to be afraid" once you have identified that
uncertainty, it is usually easier to simply
accept its presence in your life, just for the
time being. I know that life is about the
journey and not the arrival. We don't need to
arrive if we accept that we are already there.
Not everyone woke up this morning and not
everyone is going to bed tonight. Life has no
guarantees; every minute we are living is a
blessing that has to be experienced in the
moment. It's not always easy, but it's
always an option or a choice.